Tired to the max!

I can't sleep at night.
My whole body won't stop aching.
I have to pee every 5 minutes.
My breast swollen like pfft~~! I can't even touch it!
Nausea and Dizziness
Super tired!
Super hungry and thirsty especially at night.

I'm hoping my hubby would be more understanding.

Anosmia?

Anosmia mean loss of smell. I literally loss my sense of smell. (+________+)"

Mood Swing.

1030   

Just got back from BP Lab, and eat. Dahlah it cost RM30 (before this RM25/test) and result won't come out until 1 (>______<) <-- piss off! Don't know how to describe my feeling. Rasa kusut sangat for the past 5 days. Maybe sebab paranoid? Maybe sebab next week exam. I notice, usually bila time nak dekat-dekat exam memang terasa tense sangat! and of course, I  am worried about this little munchkin inside my tummy. How ya doin'?

1215

Call BP Lab ask whether result BHGC dah keluar. Yes, dah siap but person in charge taknak bagitahu result through phone. Piss off again, but hey~ kejap lagi pun dah nak pergi ambil right? It's ok to be patient even I dah tunggu since 5 days ago for this momment.

1235

OK. Result: 17,171. OH WOW! What a huge number. Even dah tau result, which is increasing that obviously I'm pregnant. I'm still super worried.

0120 

Quickly went to EPAU (Early Pregnancy Assessment Unit) and nasib baik doktor still nak layan even masa tu dah lunch hour. Bla bla bla, I had a pregnancy transvaginal ultrasound (this is 5th time) kinky (>______<)" and...there he/she is! "swimming freely" in my uterus. Yup, no ectopic whatever. It's normal! I'm pregnant and healthy! Alhamdulillah. I'm happy, like seriously happy and it makes me cry. This is awesome (^_________^). Better start reading on those pregnancy guide book. Huhuhu.

Stomach Pain

Malam tadi sakit lagi sampai mengeletar peluh-peluh. I don't mind my stomach hurting like this as long as you  are safe, my child. In Shaa Allah.

Hungry.

I feel so hungry, I can eat a whole cow right now. Since this morning, I already eat 2 packet of Nestum and packet of Campbell mushroom soup but my stomach seem to beg for more and more food. Actually I plan to eat my favourite "nasi kacang panjang" today, tapi nak pergi jalan kaki 700m to shop nearby, macam impossible. 

   Berkira-kira nak order delivery McD, tapi OH NO! I should practice what I preach due some reason and of course! plus McD is not good for your health and it expensive! I guess, I should plan weekly menu from now. Better stock up. Tapi duit tinggal sikit (T_____T) I bet it will not last until the end of this week. Esok nak guna duit juga. OK. Apa makanan yang healthy and cheap? 

   My hubby suggest I list down all food I want to eat. Oh well, I really want burger for dinner tonight.

Pregnancy Vitamins & Supplements

Supplement: New Obimin

Milk

Scott's Emulsion Cod Liver Oil with Calcium and Scott's Fish Oil

Pregnancy Blues?

I don't know whether I can blame hormonal changes or what. But it seems that:

• my appetite was decreasing?wait NOT! i'm hungry but it seem that i can't eat anything.
• everything seem annoying, like every little thing I don't bother much before
• my head keep spinning sometime
• exhausted without doing nothing
• I can't sleep (*______*)" and keep waking up in the middle of the night

Mixed Up Feeling.

There's a lot of question in my brain lately that really need an answer:

Can I still be pregnant after all those anaesthesia?

What can affect my baby health?

What I should do now?

Can I eat that? Can I eat this?

What should I wear?

What should I eat?

Did I put my hopes to high?
Can I bear with it if something does happen?
Can I be a good mother?
but above of all, the most important question is...
Is my baby safe?

Here it Goes.

My 1st positive self-test pregnancy:

2.00 pm 

11/18/2012

My 2nd Beta HCG Test

Result: 2183.70.

Oh well, I'm pregnant. My B HCG doubled after 48 hours. But after 5 scan session, doctor still can't see any existence of sac or embryo. Oh please, don't keep me going with all this false hope. I request for early discharge though and promise to have my test next Wednesday and repeat scan after that.

Hope.
I pray for this 'boy' keep holding on and be where it suppose to be. Be Healthy and be nice to his mommy. Don't keep me waiting.

As non-existence of pregnancy sac just yet, Doctor said, there's a chance that this pregnancy is an ectopic pregnancy. OK, don't ask me why my story a bit twisted. They keep changing my diagnosis several time! Ectopic Pregnancy, not ectopic pregnancy, Intrauterine pregnancy, ectopic pregnancy then another. 

They still can't find this little "boy" hide-out.
I don't know. Maybe it because too small, maybe it's in tubular [which I hope NOT!] maybe it's there in my uterus. Maybe it's too early.

Well I guess we have to wait until next B HCG Test next Wednesday. I hope I can see you next week "little boy".

Beta HCG Test

Beta HCG – Human Chorionic Gonadotropin – is a hormone produced during pregnancy which shows up in the blood. It is a blood test to diagnose pregnancy, and usually becomes positive around the time of the first missed period.

How the Test is Performed
Beta HCG (BHCG) is a blood test – it requires a small tube of blood, taken from a vein.

Medical Conditions and Symptoms
Beta HCG (BHCG or Pregnancy Test) may be performed by your doctor if they suspect that you may be pregnant, or if you suspect pregnancy yourself! Usual pregnancy symptoms include a missed or late period (amenorrhea), breast fullness or tenderness, or nausea and vomiting (morning sickness).
The test is often routinely performed in women of childbearing age with abdominal pain, and those who require an Abdominal X-Ray or Pelvic X-Ray, because of concerns or radiation to an unborn baby.
In some situations a quantitative Beta HCG may be useful. This measures the amount of this hormone in the blood. Under normal circumstances, this level doubles approximately every 2 days, in the first trimester.

Test Results Explained
Qualitative Beta HCG: 

• A POSITIVE Beta HCG means that the woman is pregnant 
• A NEGATIVE Beta HCG means that the woman is NOT pregnant 

Quantitative Beta HCG: 

• The result is given as a number, indicating the measured concentration of the hormone in the blood 
• The fetus is usually visible on a Trans-Vaginal Ultrasound scan when the level is above 1500 units 
• When the level is above 4000 units, the fetus is also usually visible on a Trans-Abdominal Ultrasound scan 
• The Beta HCG level usually doubles approximately every 2 days.

Too Early.

My throat hurt due to oxygen tube been shove into my neck during the surgery. My head was spinning. There he is, my husband still waiting for me outside the surgical room.

Good news: No "Remove" involved

I'm so glad. I'm relieved, a bit. There is no ectopic pregnancy. But still, my stomach hut like hell. There's a two "X" stich mark on my tummy obviously from the surgery and it's seem to double up my stomach pain. I have to undergo through several test, blood test, B HCG test etc. The fact that I have to stay here, in this wars, on this hospital bed.

Result 
B HCG: 969.33 (will repeat after 48 hours to see whether I'm pregnant or it just a fail pregnancy)

It Started With.

I have supra pubic pain since 3 weeks ago and its killing me. At first I thought it just another pre-menstrual cramps as my last period was on 11th July. But it last longer than usual and really freak me out. So I went to health clinic and after a few scan on my bloated hurt tummy here and there, they diagnosis my condition as suspected cyst formation, I guess? and they referred me to see specialist in Hospital. Yup, my urine pregnancy test result was negative at that time.

     Two days later, we went to Hospital, don't ask me why I didn't go on the same day. Obviously I don't bother to be there at the first place. Well, continue with the story how I've been admitted. At first, the HO ask whether I'm pregnant or not, which I believe I don't. But he suggest to repeat the test again. Well to my surprise, it comes out positive. I'm shocked. Another tummy scan, still they didn't see anything except one or two cyst mast on my left ovaries. No sac, or an embryo.

     Then they send me to EPAU room (Early Pregnancy Assessment Unit) for which I experience some kinky vaginal scan. OK, I'm joking. To make it short, finally after two session with 3 different O&G specialist, my diagnosis was ectopic pregnancy. You know this happen when fertilized ovum and sperm stuck in the fallopian tube and grow rather than normal place it should be, uterus; obviously.

My Feeling
I can't even describe how it is. I'm pregnant, I'm NOT pregnant, then pregnant with cyst then now Ectopic Pregnancy. I'm so confused. I even cry. I can't keep the baby and they need to remove my left fallopian tube before the baby grows and my fallopian tube explode, literally. In the other word, they will cut my left  fallopian tube by Laparoscopy, of course, then I would be better. How could you say I will be better after all this? 

Laparoscopy is a type of Surgery
I didn't even spend my 10 minutes on hospital bed, then they brought me to surgical room. I watch the clock ticking, it's 4.10 pm. Full anaesthesia. and I'm in a deep sleep. I wake up at 6.47 pm. It's all done.